There are religions. There are stereotypes. And there’s all this about food.

As my current squeeze Abshishek Bachchan might go “There are two types of people in this world. Foodies and non-foodies.” I belong to the second type. And it might consist of only one person.

At least, I’ve never met anybody who has the same attitude to food that I do. And it is this. The human body is a machine, or a set of higly complex, precise, inter-linked machines. It needs fuel, like any other machine. Input, processes, output. Simple.

Now, since the aforementioned processes include varied chemicals and constitute the running of machines of different sizes, performing different functions, the fuel requirements are different. The input/ouput equations are different too. Simple, again.

Why, oh, why can no one understand that?

I am normally a very sociable, friendly person. I like being with people, doing things that groups of people usually do. But I hate eating with other people. This is a bit of a problem since eating is such an integral part of our social systems. Most people believe that “the family that eats together, stays together”. Well, really. I love my family but the long sermons about how I’m not ingesting enough protein and doomsday predictions about my future health are enough to make me want to run. I fear, honestly dread weddings and other such functions that bring together large groups of people related to me by blood. South-Indians love fattening up their family members, especially ‘young, marriagable ones’. Reminds me rather eerily of the story of Hansel and Gretel….

And that is family, people who are genuinely concerned about my well-being. What is this about colleagues and friends? People seem to take it really personal if you don’t share their food habits. I mean, its a damn religion in itself. So we have the pure vegetarians who will make life miserable with their snide remarks about ‘flesh-eaters’ if they can’t convince you to switch. There are non-vegetarians who will smirk over the ‘rabbit-food’ you are eating. Now, being a little bit of each, I get hit from both sides. I am used to a staple diet of idlis, dosas, rice-and-sambhar and the elixir of every Tamilian’s life…..curd rice! On the other hand, I enjoy a Mac’s burger, the tikkas from Bade Miyas, chicken pizza and sorts of things that cater to my carnivorous urges. Oh please…I just want to enjoy these things without anyone else’s opinion!!!!

People’s insecurities seem to come up while eating. They need you to eat like they do. Problem, problem. I don’t enjoy half the junk that my friends enjoy ingesting. Like Lucky once said, “Everything gives you acidity!” So, popcorn, rava dosas, sweet corn soup, gulab jamuns are all out. And I’m fine with watching other people eat and abstain myself. Honestly. No one would think of teasing a diabetic about the food he/she is missing out on. So why needle a person who has another kind of health issue with certain foods?

One time I do get back at these types is when it comes to chocolate. Yum, yum, YUUMMMMMMM!!! I am a confirmed choc-a-holic. Sizzling brownies, Death by Chocolate (at Corner House in Bangalore), Mud pies, ice-cream, melted Dutch truffles, Swiss truffle cake (at Brownie Point), dark-to-the-point-of-being-a-black-hole cocoa…I can down them all. Thanks to a set of good genes, I don’t put on weight visibly due to these sins. And I gleefully do a deli scene right out When Harry met Sally while my genetically-less-fortunate companions shoot daggers at me. *Smirk smirk*….life has its justice.

But coming back to my cribbing, I don’t get particularly excited over food (except chocolate!). I follow a policy of live and let live (or rather eat and let hog). Oh…but I still like men who cook.

21 thoughts on “Non-foodie”
  1. I can so identify with that.. Not that I am a very fussy eater.. But it never shows up in my BMI, however hard I try. And listening to folks cribbing I dont eat enough makes me cringe and run for cover…
    and yes… Death by chocolate is quite the sinful…:)

  2. dont do it apoo… pls dont invent stupid things that would turn things OFF when they are so ON… chal tere liye kurbaani de diya…

    idea: pls let me know if you didnt like chocolate flavoured curd rice… i can serve the traditional one with “thair molagai’

  3. Dreamcatcher: I love social gatherings. Especially the ones where everyone’s too busy hogging to care about whats on other people’s plates.

    Ava: Grass is always greener and all that? πŸ™‚

    Apoo: Note the phrase is ‘You and me’ not ‘U and Me and all these women’!

    Iyer: Salmon kebabs are the limit of my food experiments. Gimme good ol’ thair-sadam any day! And throw in a mor-malagai and I’ll be eternally in your debt!

  4. See I love cooking, especially when I have company. There is nothing like having a kitchen full of people talking (do NOT ask to help, I will ask if needed).

    Your way of looking at food, however, is very healthy. Eat when you need to and don’t overindulge as people are wont to do.

  5. i am a liberal when it comes to eating…i allow eaters of every persuausion to eat with me, unless they try to convert me to anything other than a wish-etarian(i eat whatever i wish to :D)…

  6. I hate foodie gatherings. Prefer simple fare to being forced to eat elaborate but completely inedible thingies with fancy names. Join the anti-foodie dahi bhaat gang. πŸ™‚

    My food chart is more of Apples, Beer, Chocolates, and Daal/Dahi bhaat. That said, I cook pretty well–only south indian and italian tho. Nothing says one has to eat all of what he cooks. *grins

  7. u have my sympathies idea- evidently ur company sucks that u dont even have freedom to eat what u wish how u wish! The best joke is the word verification I am seeing on the screen spells idlis!LOL!

  8. i can understand that part:They need you to eat like they do. When Iw as in Malluland my class-mates used to come up to me and say: how can u eat this stuff?used to get me really irritated…

  9. When friends go out there is a difference between sharing a mean and GORGING. Sharing a meal is intimate but then you get those who order one of every appetizer for a table of four.

    I prefer having an intimate get together at my house and have people hanging around the kitchen while I cook (I COOK, no one else touches the food…lol)

  10. opinions….

    is it so hard to take…?
    …do you take your own opinions??

    you…

    do you believe in “you”…??..or is it just another word…..just like “they”..?

    Oh…but I still like men who cook.
    …can’t explain why…but i couldn’t possibly take my attention away from two words…Oh….n’ still

    p.s. whatever…..always find this place warm.

    let the flame be alive forever!–>

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