So the mommies starts to murmer on marriage again. Thus far I’ve managed to avoid the issue for awhile after having survived a torrent of eligible bachelors (EB) awhile back. Steadied it to a light drizzle and then just a few drips (hmph, all men are!). But now, the Magic Mummy radar senses a break in daughter’s otherwise jam-packed schedule and jumps in promptly to fill it up with more EBs.

(Click to see full comic on a new page)

I sigh and lay down my wearied defenses and set out to interview prospects again. All the while ruminating on a thought that struck me in the shower last week (don’t all brilliant ideas come to you then? I also get some when I’m brushing my teeth in the morning).

We all know that an average girl child’s brain is injected with the marriage virus very early on in life and everything else we do in life from our choice of career, our grades, our dressing, personality, friends, social calendar are all supposed to be in preparation of the big M word. Why do men get married? Let’s see:

  1. Because they are in love (HAHAHAHA…alright I’ll shut my cynical self up a bit)
  2. Because they seek companionship (I don’t really believe it but I’m bored with the ‘man-hater’ title)
  3. Because they want free and regular sex (dare deny that one, anyone?)
  4. Because they want a housemaid/cook/nurse-for-ageing-parents (phooey to the US-returned types)
  5. Because their family wants them to get married (Yes, mama!)
  6. Because their ex- broke up with them and they want to show her up (with all due apologies to the women that are being now made miserable by my ex-es)
  7. Because….errr…umm….

Now let’s look at them. 1 and 2 are really rare and when those exist, the man has quickly turned around and married her in his early 20s itself. 3 and 4 are most common of all and if you don’t believe me, ask ANY woman who is being subjected to the marriage market….we’ve all met a few specimens. 5 and 6 get to be more and more hard to avoid as the years pass…both make their life’s major decisions based on someone else’s whims and words.

Where does that leave us then? With men who are certainly not interested in marriage and only feed us the lines hoping to impress us and get a little fun in the process. Or the No.s 3, 4, 5 and 6 and they’re hardly prime cuts as far as marriage prospects go, never mind their degrees and dollars.

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Oh and there’s always the specimen that doesn’t even know why he’s getting married. But then again, “I don’t know” is an answer I hear frequently. Oh men of intelligence and higher understanding, where art thou? *Sigh* And at the end of it, all I’ll have is a shiny needle.

17 thoughts on “Needle in the haystack”
  1. @ Brad: You read my mind, A.E.

    @ Ashish: No clue what that means but I’m sure its profound…in which case it doesn’t bear relation to this post of mine, which is mind-garbage anyway.

  2. To complete it…
    “Leave all thy burdens on ‘his’ hands who can bear all, and never look behind in regret.
    Thy desire at once puts out the light from the lamp it touches with its breath.
    It is unholy,take not thy gifts through its unclean hands. Accept only what is offered by ‘sacred love'”

    I know it sounds sort of high funda stuff..but google it, its the reality evrywhere 🙂

  3. What about this reason “because I want to settle down”?? I don’t use bad language but if I did, this is the time I’d say WT*???

    You’ve pranced all around the world & now you want to “settle down” so you go looking for a wife???

    What does that mean? You’ve had enough of exercise & now need some couch-potato time? Seriously, I’m very weary of men who tell me they want to “settle down”.

    Very unsettling me thinks.

  4. muah, muah, love you for this one….ask me about it.
    Mother is weary looking at all the defective pieces and still she goes on, poor girl!

  5. Does the intelligent man want to get married?

    In the event that he does …. I guess one needs to account for the fact that everyone makes mistakes

  6. @ Melody: I don’t have a problem with the wanting to settle down since I’ve been in that frame of mind myself. After doing a lot on one’s own, being an individual, being selfish in some cases, self-preservative in others, you can just want to stop running around and ‘settle down’. Yes, but I do have a problem with people who lie.

    @ Another Women: Mommies are a study in undying persistance.

    @ Sanjay: Perhaps he doesn’t. Does the intelligent man fall in love? Does the intelligent man respect relationships and women? Does the intelligent man want an equal partnership? Does the intelligent man want to stop the world being about himself only and expand it to include caring about another person? Not, I guess.

  7. So many questions!! …. methinks I will have to outsource to a higher authority lest my mistakes become blunders (higher as in IQ…and largely genderless might I add).

    My perspective to your queries….they dont seem like mistakes


  8. Not to be a prude by why do you think you’ve bcome so weary and interested in the whole M thing. Is it not bcuz of reason #5 (same as the man)

    Just an idea:) Shift Focus

  9. @ Scorp Kitten: Guilty as charged. 🙂 The thought actually did occur to me after I published the post. In my defense however, I’ve only ‘succumbed’ to the husband hunting process and not to actually marrying one particular person. I have an issue with a man who’ll marry a girl only because his family considers her suitable…and I’ve seen just too many of this sort.

  10. @Point number 6…
    I have always wondered whether it is true…I mean atleast in my case…………Is it because I want to show up my ego, that I found someone better than her!!!….No my heart never comes up with that answer….all that I know is that she said “No” to me, and is happy with someone else :)…..this does bring a sad face, but then I realise that her happiness is more important to me……………If at all any other woman comes in my life…..they both can never be compared……………”She” will always have a separate corner in my heart 🙂

  11. I prefer to dare, no3 I dont think so, If that was the case most men would have been married at the beginning of puberty.
    I am still trying to find the answer, rather answer to questions why I dont prefer it right now.
    Mostly the phenomenon seems to be, now you have a job, no plans to study anymore, decent salary, nows the time.
    I am like what?!, you pretty much have nothing to do so go get married .. nice reason people!

  12. @ Guy: I hear you, I so do!

    @ Prashanth: Of course we do! Nothing is ever monochromed or single-choice with us 😉

    @ Scorp Kitten: Isn’t it? Sweet actually…and here I go painting all men into monsters.

    @ Rambler: Sort of like a check-list, no? Oh well, hand me my pen…tick!

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