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7 Comments

  1. Oya. At least give me details. At least let me feel for the girl. What worked with Pain, was that you zoomed in and out of body parts. You could have done the same here, and made it interesting, made Suresh more intuitive and made us side with the girl. How does a Suresh view a girl like that with such detachment. So easily it could have been a great story with attachment. And you can make us interested in the girl in a economically written way, because you have in your next story Crossing Lines. So why didn’t you do it here?

    1. @Ronaan Roy: Umm, dunno. That’s the process that I haven’t quite worked out yet. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. I’m relying purely on luck so far; haven’t gotten the science of it yet. And I do believe there is a science even in the craft of writing.

    1. @febinmathew: Is it too cold, perhaps? I was subconsciously transferring my own numbed impressions into this character but perhaps not everyone is that blase about such a situation?

      1. I don’t think everyone is, not when directly confronted with it.
        But we all survive on a kind of desensitization, ‘out of sight, out of mind’ so to speak
        So, no I wouldn’t say cold. But, a lil depressing yes.