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17 Comments

  1. A lot of readers thought you were a sex diva and they just had not chance even trying to satisfy you after reading an old post were you wrote Indian men were Terrible lovers .

    1. @Darrel: I don’t know how much of my blog you have read but I write about gender politics. Sex is a very recent addition to the topics I write about. I have never said anything about how any man is in bed. You will want to think about why you see the words ‘relationship’, ‘womanhood’, ‘feminism’ and think Sex Diva.

      1. “The Indian man can be sweetly (and not so sweetly) ignorant of the female anatomy. Or he can be a regular Don Juan. But either way, he’ll still be extremely startled when the woman climbs atop him and demands more. The Indian man, no matter how educated, liberated or metrosexual…is completely unfamiliar with the concept of female sexuality.”https://xxfactor.wordpress.com/2008/08/25/the-indian-man-2/

        1. @Darrel 😀 Okay, I stand corrected. I wrote that post years ago and I had completely forgotten about it. I definitely cannot speak for half a billion people’s abilities based on what I’ve experienced, heard and seen. Touche.

  2. It’s a daring and honestly bold post about sex. Sex is an energy and it doesn’t matter with whom you do, where and how!! Sex without enjoyment is no sex at all. It shouldn’t be forced and the ones who do so are undignified and have such a wrong notion. To be honest, it doesn’t matter whether I do it with a sex worker, a fling thing or passion with the one I love. Unfortunately, we are so sex obsessed that diminishes it’s beauty.

  3. We sometimes need to move out of the present toxic environment to let go and experience pleasure.some live and love a few months on beaches like om beach ,or move other places where they sense will nourish their soul like the USA,France. Everyone needs a different nourishment though..

    1. @Xxfan: I’m not a big fan of running away. Also, I don’t think the USA or France have magical solutions. Their attitudes to sexuality may be different (and note, I say ‘may’) but they come with their own set of social rules, restrictions and problems.

  4. If a woman feel like having sex and making love every single day,sometimes two – three times a day .then woman probably have the same libido as men.in Africa and in some parts ladakh polygamy is considered a normal part of life.

    1. @Xxfan: Polygamy doesn’t have to have anything to do with frequency and quality of sex. The mistake is believing that it’s different from other normal physical activities like say, eating. Some people eat 4 meals a day, some eat 2, some need 5 or even more. We each perceive quality of these differently. And some like variety, some prefer to stay within their comfort zones. Each of us has the right to explore what works best for us and provide accordingly.

  5. Regular release would reflect in you poetry ,prose.it would slowly wash away all the hurt ,the regret,the anger…
    Mother nature put those lovely things there for a reason. And like a tap when there is no release it goes to the mind.studies have shown make release prevents major health problems later in life.I’m sure they will find the same for the more complex female release mechanism soon.rest ,the right food,exercise help the woman’s mind.where unlike the male the woman’s mind seems to play a huge role in the sex/pleasure process.

    A lot of xxfans hope all these factors fall in place and ideasmith get all the love ,pleasure and Healthy release ,a loving ,strong open minded woman deserves.
    Maybe it’s also a selfish hope.so they can read some super creative love poetry,prose and read some future posts giving us insights on how to love more openly and gift out bodies the love and pleasure they deserve in this lifetime on this sometimes sad frustrating planet

    1. @Xxfan: I don’t believe that it’s only women for whom the mind/emotions play a large part within sex. If that were the case, stress would not be a big cause of erectile dysfunction. As for gifting our bodies, it starts with believing we need to be kind and loving to our own selves first. All the best!

  6. Love love love this “I like it when it’s on my terms, when it is fun, when it carries respect but not reserve and when it goes through and ends with both of us feeling pleasant about it and each other. And there just isn’t enough of that going around.”

    1. @Christine Feminist: There isn’t, is there? I’m not blaming men for it all. But we’re so choked up in fear and social censure and we end up making sex about a whole lot of other things instead of what it is – relating and fun.