Gehraiyaan: A Good Galentine’s Day Release & An Okay Solo Date Watch

Spoiler alert: This post talks about the film Gehraiyaan & references several key plot points. If you haven’t seen the film & plan to, please do not read further. Trigger warnings: Childhood neglect, self-harm, abuse, infidelity. ~O~O~O~O~O~O~ Yes, I said that. I know today is Valentine’s Day & this film has been promoted as a ... Read More


The way I relate to men comes from some toxic experiences I’ve had with men I cared about. It has been hard to see past those traumas & rise above the gaslighting of being a ‘man-hater’ just for having a strong sense of my own identity. There is some notion that being a ‘strong woman’ ... Read More

Baby Invisible

I hide when we make loveI hide the way refugees hide in their own countryI hide inside my body It’s a nice bodyIt has the right curves, the perfect inchesIt gets a part in every male fantasy that auditions itBut it leaves no room for me He kisses me hard on the mouthHis hand reaches ... Read More

Feminine Strength

The sexes need each other and define each other. Patriarchy rejects this by deeming any form of need or interconnectedness as weak/feminine. But all society and relationships are built on the joint and collaborative strengths of human beings needing and fulfilling each other’s needs in balance. I’ve been asked why I insist on reading or ... Read More

Strong Woman

This label is burden. I see a look in my eyes, a look I’ve seen on the faces of divorcees, of women who have been beaten up who’ve moved on, in the fleeting expressions of successful women, old women. Because women only achieve success with age. And success necessarily means surviving very bad men. It ... Read More

Fairytale Character — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —— — *If you liked this post, you’ll want to follow the Facebook Page. I’m Ramya Pandyan (a.k.a. Ideasmith) and I’m on Twitter and Instagram

From #PillowTalk To #ItHurts

Every piece of art or performance that I work on, is an emotion-mining experience. December has been an intense one, with SXonomics (my feminist collaboration with Dr.Ishmeet Nagpal). We started with a visit to Delhi, a place with which I’ve always had a complex relationship. I was born there. All my life I’ve associated it ... Read More

The Ugly Male Face Of ‘Cannot Cope’

I always thought India hates its daughters. But now I believe it hates its sons even more. One of the biggest advantages that I have is that I was given a realistic view of the world’s indifference and even hostility to my existence. Yes, this is an advantage because growing up aware that you need ... Read More

Fuckboys & The Support Fuckboys Brigade

I saw the fuckboi yesterday. He is part of the same circles and I refuse to acknowledge him anymore so his presence in isolation is not such a bother. But I am surrounded by his manipulative behaviour, in the form of other women who look as starry-eyed as I *cringe* probably did back in December. (Notice ... Read More