I Will Listen

I’ve been in so many conversations. I’ve come back overflowing with so much. Wisps of other people clinging to me. They turn into dreams, into nightmares, into fantasies, into nagging nameless worries. Then someone says hello and they pass. I started to worry about losing myself in you, in them, in each person I spoke ... Read More

The “Do They Treat You Well?” Play

I was watching an episode of ‘Kim’s Convenience’ where a concerned (possibly over protective) family is talking to their daughter about her love life. One of them asks, “Does he treat you well?” And I realised no one had ever asked me that. Not family members, not friends, not classmates, peers or anyone who has ... Read More

Being My Age Is A Feminist Act

I’m often told I ‘don’t look’ my age. It’s served up as a compliment. It’s not. What’s complimentary about telling someone they don’t fit the box into which you’re trying to put them? I already know that by being open about my age (43 a week ago, when this photo was taken), I’m pushing back ... Read More

My Solo Dating Life

Solo dates are my most enjoyable dates. Everything else is a blur of regressive social rituals, burdensome insights into other people slipping out from badly created pretences. The agency to be solo is hardwon. Solitude is a privilege for women. Everyone tries to fill up a woman’s time with their needs. Being a visible, approachable ... Read More


Life feels easier when you realise they don’t understand you. Can’t, won’t try & probably never will. But that is okay because when there’s no one around to live your life for you, is when you start to breathe. And you realise you don’t need anyone to understand you. It may make things easier in ... Read More

I Don’t Belong Here

These carefree whistlersgirls throwing hearts & bodies outto men who will let them falland men who will pick them uponly to throw them backI have been thrown away,thrown over, thrown backI don’t belong here The screaming thundersdripping rage & accusationsto fertile minds that will turn theminto gangrene & cancerThe storms passin torrents of rain & ... Read More

Love Gardener

We have to separate the feeling from the person who inspires them. We are so literal, we use the words “my love” to describe a sentiment as well as a person. But our feelings are entirely our own, to process, to draw from for poetry, to express in our ways, to take responsibility for & ... Read More

Love Language

LOVE LANGUAGE - my journey deciphering my experiences through the words of love songs in different languages


The month was full of learning. 2020 was hard, getting hit by a pandemic no one had seen the likes of. But 2021 was the slow, grueling grind back into a world that will never be the same. The soul-crushing realisation that all things break – stability, connections & worst of all, hope. I lost ...

Valentine’s Day Farce

Whew pink season is over, what a relief!To paraphrase Mad Men, romance was invented by capitalists to sell more stuff. Valentine’s Day single-handedly created an economy of greeting cards, pink teddy bears & red hearts. Nothing wrong in these, of course. But let’s not pretend it’s something else. It hit me yesterday. Some of the ... Read More